Life after leaving university

Wednesday, 31 August 2016



Back in January, I spoke about my journey through university and my decision to leave at the start of my second year.



I stand by my decision; university definitely wasn't for me, but I wanted to give you an update on what my life has been like since I left, as it's coming up to nearly a year since I withdrew from my course.

For the first few months, I couldn't have been happier with knowing I didn't have to feel stressed studying for a degree I didn't even want anymore. However, even now I am still riddled with some kind of regret, or disappointment really, in that I didn't just complete the degree I worked so hard to get a place on.

The university I attended required three A's at A level to get onto a law degree.

I worked so hard at college to get those grades and I cried (with happiness) the day I found out I was accepted. I think now that the realisation has finally set in that I actually don't go to uni anymore, I just feel a crazy sadness that I worked so hard for two years to not really end up doing much.

I've been working full time ever since I left - there hasn't been a day where I've sat on my ass feeling sorry for myself. I'm proud of myself for that; there's been plenty of times where I wanted to pack it in and find a sugar daddy (still want this most days).

However, I'm one of those people who constantly needs something to work towards. I've been in education since I was 4 and now I'm not learning or achieving, it's a weird feeling for me.

I don't know what my career prospects are and I don't really have any future plans. I know there's lots of people studying at uni who still don't really have answers to those questions either. I am 21 years old and I still feel too young to be making hard life decisions like that!

I find the concept of me not growing academically a very weird thing. I swapped my original course in college to A-levels because I thought it wasn't challenging enough. Sounds nerdy, but my brain needs to be used now and again!

I think this is why I enjoy blogging. It's almost like writing an essay, but there's not a proper deadline and I don't get a load of harsh feedback (usually!). But something inside me wishes I was getting graded on something!

It's very hard to explain. As I mentioned, I definitely don't regret leaving, but I do sometimes feel like my potential is wasted; or at least all the hard work I put in to my grades, and the hard work I know I can put in to other things, has all amounted to nothing.

Life's weird like that, isn't it? For two years I was dead set on studying law and becoming a lawyer. A year and a half into my degree, I realised I couldn't have been more wrong. Now, nearly a year on from leaving university, I work 40 hours at a crazy fun job, but I still have no idea what's round the corner.

I constantly feel like I'm asking a magic 8 ball what to do with my life and it keeps coming up with 'try again later'.

Anyone else having a mid-life crisis in their 20's? I'd like to know I'm not alone!



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Image: stock image, text added by me

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