10 reasons why 'Gossip Girl's Dan Humphrey is the worst

Monday, 26 December 2016

To celebrate (I guess) me finally completing the whirlwind ride that is all 6 seasons of Gossip Girl, I have decided to compile a list of reasons as to why Dan 'Douchebag' Humphrey was the worst character in the entire series (like you even needed convincing).


Warning: if you haven't finished the series then I'd avoid this post as there will be spoilers. You have been warned.


Gossip Girl Dan Humphrey
Source: Tumblr

1. He is Gossip Girl

When re-watching the show this time around, it was already with the knowledge that Dan turned out to be GG. This made me hate him even more for the entire show. He made himself look like a victim - cursed to forever be an outsider in a world of wealth and elitism, when actually he was just slagging off his mates from behind a computer screen in a desperate attempt to be accepted. Lame.

Dan Humphrey Gossip Girl hair
Source: Wordpress

2. He has the dumbest hair of everyone in the show

And that shaved head at the beginning?! Nope.

Inside Dan Humphrey Gossip Girl
Source: Gossip Girl Wikia

3. He thinks he's a great writer, but has zero imagination

Sure, you can write a book about real life, but if you're choosing to cloak people's identities, I don't think changing Serena to Sabrina really works. Sorry.

Dan Humphrey Gossip Girl
Source: Tumblr

4. He is the most judgemental, self-ritcheous character

Who actually then turned out to be a hypocrite, since he was happy to sit on his I'm-from-Brooklyn-I'm-not-like-you moral high horse, but ran an anonymous gossip site and wrote two scathing books about his 'friends' in an attempt to be accepted into their world.

Gossip Girl Serena Dan gif
Source: Cosmo

5. He thinks it's his place to slut-shame women

He straight up called Serena out for 'not being who he thought she was' because he found out she had consensual sex with Nate. Yet he proceeds to sleep with practically every woman who shows him any attention (including one of his teachers). Bye.

Serena Van Der Woodsen Gossip Girl gif
Source: Favim

6. He betrayed every person he was supposed to care about

He made up plenty of Serena scandals, including pretending she had an STI and spreading a rumour that she was pregnant, when he was supposed to have been madly in love with her for years. He posted segments of Blair's personal diary on Gossip Girl when, yet again, he was supposed to be in love with her. He also ruined her wedding to Louis. He alienated his own father, sent a blast about his little sister losing her virginity... Do I need to continue?

Dan Humphrey Gossip Girl
Source: Wordpress

7. He is probably the most boring character on the show

When he was revealed as being the infamous Gossip Girl, I literally rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell back into my head. When I actually watched the final episode, it annoyed me even more because there was no depth to his character or the reason for him to have been a douche for the entire show. He was annoyed because he wasn't born rich and none of the rich kids wanted to be his friend? He had a pretty loving family, a nice loft and went to a good school. I can't see much motive apart from being a whiny baby with a superiority complex.

Gossip Girl Dan Humphrey subtitle
Source: Favim

8. He made a website to shame the people at his school, then felt left out so made a character for himself

He couldn't handle still being invisible despite running the most notorious gossip site on the web. So he put 'Lonely Boy' on the Gossip Girl map in a desperate attempt to be noticed by the people he despised.

Dan and Serena Gossip Girl
Source: Pinterest

9. He fake-dated Serena in order to write a new chapter for his book, released the crappy version which called her every mean thing under the sun...

Then, oh yeah, snuck a nice lovey-dovey version into her suitcase as she is about to leave for L.A. forever just to win her back.

Dan and Serena Gossip Girl wedding
Source: Gossip Girl Wikia

10. He actually gets everything he wanted in the end

SOMEHOW no one is mad at him for being Gossip Girl the whole time. Like, seriously, not one person is pissed off? Serena is all 'I'm okay with it!' despite the website being started up as a freaky attempt to stalk her when she went AWOL. He alienated every person he knew via that website and everyone's just cool with it. Then to top it all off, he STILL GETS TO MARRY SERENA. Like, Serena is an awful character (that's for a separate discussion) but as if after all that they still end up together. This is where I slammed my laptop shut in a rage and vowed to never think about that show ever again.

The worst part for me is that in the beginning few seasons, Dan & Serena were one of my favourite couples. Then you realise they are both awful characters and awful people then realise Blair & Chuck are the only OTP in that show.



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